What I am Only for Him

By myself I was strong and independent and stubborn and single-minded, with nobody’s desires to matter as much as my own. This independence was something that I adored about myself – bigger balls than most men I knew and though I could walk softly NOBODY had a bigger stick than I. Everyone knew who and what I was. Everyone knew they could come to me to protect them or defend them or make others quake in my wake for their sake. (My love for alliteration apparently maintains throughout.)

I was all of these things. I was also terribly, tremendously, epically and quite notably alone. Whether or not one encouraged or caused the other I could never be sure and now I hope never to have to speculate again.

One day in June, 2009, a man entered my universe and he turned me inside out; upside down; spun me like a sick and demented top.

For him, and only for him, I am obedient. I am meek and sometimes lost and always in awe. For him I love to be malleable. I am easily distorted and occasionally absurd for his amusement. For his amusement I will do anything. To hear that smile in his voice, with a tint of mischief and a shade of minor evil, I would lie down naked on a busy city sidewalk. I would cover myself in chocolate and let monkeys lick me clean. He need only name it and to hear that smile in his voice I would gladly do it.

Gone is the independence. Oh it still exists for the rest of the world, but for him it’s never there. It’s been replaced by panting and tail-wagging and begging for a ‘good girl’. Any task is worth it for a ‘good girl’ – those two words turn my resolve to jelly. Crawling is a small price to pay. If he gives me his foot I cover it with adoring, dedicated kisses to show him I’m his ‘good girl’.

For my Master I am small and precious and hungry and his. All his, and so grateful to be so. So lucky to be the one that gets to be whatever he wants to make me. So eager to please and desperate to be worthy. For the rest of the world I am where the buck stops; where the final word is said; where to go for the answer. As Master’s giddy slave I am where his hand comes to rest, pushing my head down around his amazing cock to slurp it down and beg for more.

I am many new or different things for my Master. I’m so many things in total for the world, now that I have found this other part of myself, and for the first time in my life…

I am whole. But only because of him.