As you know, I’ve spent some time training my ass so that, should he want to, Master can take it freely when he comes back to me in June. At this time he is still making me dangle on the end of the line, desperately curious if he will actually take my ass. I don’t know if he wants to. I only know that I dearly want him to.
I’ve done anal in the past a time or two. I didn’t hate it, but I also didn’t love it. Frankly I was left with the distinct impression that the man who fucked me there had no idea what he was doing, and he certainly didn’t know how to really make the most of the experience. He had no deep, dark insides and he certainly didn’t know about mine. To this day I’ve felt sure that were I to experience it with someone who understood me, and understood the dark places that I like to be dragged by my hair, that it could be an experience both amazing and mind-blowing.
My Master is someone who knows what makes me tick. What makes me squish and leak. He knows that the idea of being fucked in the ass makes my heart race and my cunt drip, and he uses this knowledge to tease me, body and mind. Tonight we were chatting, lovely and plain, when I realized that it was getting late and I’d not yet done my daily pledge of worship to Master. I quickly stripped off my clothing, knelt on the floor before the camera, shoved my tits together and began my chant.
“This Slave belongs to Master. This slut belongs to Master. This cunt belongs to Master. This toy belongs to Master. This thing belongs to Master. This pet belongs to Master. Everything belongs to Master.” At his command I repeated the chant over. And over. And over.
I’d been through the mantra several times, so it was a surprise when I suddenly felt his cock thrust deeply into my cunt as I said the word “slave” again. Each new word sent his huge cock deep into me over and over, and I started to get fuzzy as he fucked me and I babbled away. Next his cock moved and began driving deep into my ass over and over. I love the feel of his cock in my cunt – love it like all the amazing things in the world all at once – but feeling him take my ass so confidently and purposefully not only made me drip, but pant and moan and jump each time. I began to go a little dizzy as he fucked my ass with each phrase. I knew it could not get better than this.
And at precisely that moment I began a new round of my chanting and felt my cunt and ass both full of his cock.
I continued this worship of words until he came, at which point I lifted my mouth into the air and felt and tasted it fill up with his hot cum. As he came he let me do the same, and once he’d given me permission to cum I sat, kneeling and once again my sane, exhausted, floating self, with the last of the feeling of being double-penetrated buzzing in my head. I remembered that I don’t chant for him and worship him each night, despite his having made me sure that I did. I remembered all of the subtle ways he’d changed me as he played. I remembered being so incredibly full of him, no matter that it wasn’t real this time.
I don’t know if Master will make my fantasy come true this summer or not. But he’s giving me much to think about until then.
Tuesday, 13 April 2010
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Lights, Camera, Action!
Sorry for the delay in posting, friends. Between life being way too much and my creative motivations being a little too little my beloved Master’s blog suffered and that’s just not right. Master has been very kind and there has been no talk of punishment yet, but I expect there will need to be something. The blog is his, but it’s been my responsibility to keep it active. But for now I will focus on being better, and that means a post!
Florida Dom asked a lovely bunch of questions and we’ve covered 2/3rds of them. Here we’ll answer the final few, which were:
Something else to admit before I answer the first question: I am someone who is incredibly turned on by humiliation. I mean INCREDIBLY so. The stories that most ‘turned my crank’ for years before I discovered just how wide my crank CAN turn usually contained kink the depth of which would make the Marquis de Sade blush and pee a little.
Early on Master suggested that, using his ability with hypnosis and my emensely suggestible mind, so eager to dance to his tune, we try turn my brains down. I said no. Or I said as close to “no” as I did then, which was mostly to look very obviously uncomfortable and wait for him to ask if I was ok with the idea. Because of my furrowed brow Master let the idea slide, but later he came back to it. I honestly don’t remember now whether I knew where that scene was going that day, but either way in a matter of minutes I sat before my camera giggling and jiggling and vapidly mewling about how much I wanted to suck cock. Anyone’s cock. His cock, of course, but if he said so I would have sucked 10 cocks of 10 strangers picked at random to make him happy.
Master had turned the dial on my intelligence down and down and down until I struggled to spell four-letter words and pouted at the challenge of two plus two. He’d also turned up the dial on my sluttiness, so that I was easier to fuck than a $1 prostitute. But the best part was how these changes changed how my Master dealt with me. Even though I am his slave and he is my Master he normally treats me respectfully. We have decorum between us. But when he reduces me to his brainless, slutty bimbo he also enjoys treating me like one. When I can’t answer easy questions he patronizes me, saying things like “It’s ok, baby, it’s not like a slut like you needs to be able to think.” or “you know I like you brainless, slut.”
And then my cunt gushes in response and I giggle and touch myself and other things a bubble-headed fuckdoll does.
This may not be my favorite scene, but it’s one of them. In the same way that my submissive life is so far away from the way I live the rest of my life this scene is one of the few ways I can get even further from my real life. By letting Master actually transform me it reinforces his control, my surrender, and it makes me feel like every bizarre fantasy that might cross my mind is possible. Some day I’m sure I’ll tell you another one of those bizarre fantasies…
But as much as I love to share my scenes and stories with you, my eager readers, I have no friends with whom I can share this life.
My bff’s know that I’ve discovered a submissive side of myself, but no idea at all the scope of that submissive side. They don’t know that he can hypnotize me, or what things he does when my mind becomes his toy. They don’t know about my collars or my toys or my piercing or my blog. If they knew a tiny fraction of the things that now fill my life they’d fall over dead from the shock. The only friend I have with which to share some things, besides you guys, is a woman who wrote a story on the Erotic Mind Control Stories archive. I was impressed enough the first time that I read it that I felt compelled to write to her and we sparked an online friendship from there. I love having someone to whom I can occasionally gush about some amazing scene or moment, and she shows the level of enthusiasm a good friend should. But other than my mystery friend I have nobody to share my shades of kink with.
Now that we’re into April the questions are officially over, but I’ve really enjoyed answering them so I strongly, STRONGLY encourage others to ask more questions if they have them! And thanks again to Florida Dom for asking such a great batch of questions!
Florida Dom asked a lovely bunch of questions and we’ve covered 2/3rds of them. Here we’ll answer the final few, which were:
“What’s your favorite scene? Do you share scenes with any friends?”I will first admit that I’d been kneeling and obeying my Master for at least a few months before I’d ever finally learned what a “scene” is in this context. Master and I love to play, and honestly because our interactions are almost entirely online this magical concept of the “scene” is critical for us. In fact, our scenes can sometimes be something so conceptual that they become almost like a dramatic scene themselves, and these are the ones that most excite me.
Something else to admit before I answer the first question: I am someone who is incredibly turned on by humiliation. I mean INCREDIBLY so. The stories that most ‘turned my crank’ for years before I discovered just how wide my crank CAN turn usually contained kink the depth of which would make the Marquis de Sade blush and pee a little.
Early on Master suggested that, using his ability with hypnosis and my emensely suggestible mind, so eager to dance to his tune, we try turn my brains down. I said no. Or I said as close to “no” as I did then, which was mostly to look very obviously uncomfortable and wait for him to ask if I was ok with the idea. Because of my furrowed brow Master let the idea slide, but later he came back to it. I honestly don’t remember now whether I knew where that scene was going that day, but either way in a matter of minutes I sat before my camera giggling and jiggling and vapidly mewling about how much I wanted to suck cock. Anyone’s cock. His cock, of course, but if he said so I would have sucked 10 cocks of 10 strangers picked at random to make him happy.
Master had turned the dial on my intelligence down and down and down until I struggled to spell four-letter words and pouted at the challenge of two plus two. He’d also turned up the dial on my sluttiness, so that I was easier to fuck than a $1 prostitute. But the best part was how these changes changed how my Master dealt with me. Even though I am his slave and he is my Master he normally treats me respectfully. We have decorum between us. But when he reduces me to his brainless, slutty bimbo he also enjoys treating me like one. When I can’t answer easy questions he patronizes me, saying things like “It’s ok, baby, it’s not like a slut like you needs to be able to think.” or “you know I like you brainless, slut.”
And then my cunt gushes in response and I giggle and touch myself and other things a bubble-headed fuckdoll does.
This may not be my favorite scene, but it’s one of them. In the same way that my submissive life is so far away from the way I live the rest of my life this scene is one of the few ways I can get even further from my real life. By letting Master actually transform me it reinforces his control, my surrender, and it makes me feel like every bizarre fantasy that might cross my mind is possible. Some day I’m sure I’ll tell you another one of those bizarre fantasies…
But as much as I love to share my scenes and stories with you, my eager readers, I have no friends with whom I can share this life.
My bff’s know that I’ve discovered a submissive side of myself, but no idea at all the scope of that submissive side. They don’t know that he can hypnotize me, or what things he does when my mind becomes his toy. They don’t know about my collars or my toys or my piercing or my blog. If they knew a tiny fraction of the things that now fill my life they’d fall over dead from the shock. The only friend I have with which to share some things, besides you guys, is a woman who wrote a story on the Erotic Mind Control Stories archive. I was impressed enough the first time that I read it that I felt compelled to write to her and we sparked an online friendship from there. I love having someone to whom I can occasionally gush about some amazing scene or moment, and she shows the level of enthusiasm a good friend should. But other than my mystery friend I have nobody to share my shades of kink with.
Now that we’re into April the questions are officially over, but I’ve really enjoyed answering them so I strongly, STRONGLY encourage others to ask more questions if they have them! And thanks again to Florida Dom for asking such a great batch of questions!
Friday, 26 March 2010
The History of my Kink
When last we saw our heroine she’d been asked a very exciting collection of questions from our good friend Florida Dom, and she’d decided to break up the entire group into three chunks. Today we address chunk number two, which we’re calling “The History of my Slavery.”
My Master saw the truth in me and in my writing and he brought it out of me and showed me what I’d wanted forever and ever and never known until just then. In all honesty he let loose a caged beast that I don’t think either of us recognized, and now we work very hard to keep her leashed and in check, because she craves constant and total dominance and sway. Her cravings are so strong that its amazing to me I’d never heard her before now.
So answering his last question first and his first question last I tell you that I was the tender age of almost 40 when I discovered that I desperately wanted to be a slave; to have my Master. It sort of boggles my mind now to think of all the time I wasted NOT being this submissive slave.
I honestly had to go back and look at some of the early communications between Master and I to know the answer to FD’s first question. From the very first I felt a sexual tension between us and felt that he and I were engaged in a dance of words. I also knew early that he was confident he could have me any way he wanted me, and this confidence was completely intoxicating to me. But I do not remember how quickly he brought me to the first pivotal moment. I think it took only a week or so before he instructed me to, at my place of work no less, go to a private place and kneel. Kneel just because he told me to and I wanted to obey.
I’ve been obeying ever since.
Still, there are levels of trust and obedience and decadence and Master brought me through those levels gradually but steadily. I balked at each new thing initially, such as the fear of having my intelligence altered or of being reduced to a panting, barking animal, and whenever I pushed back my Master let me have my hesitation. He gave me time, knowing that the idea would stay in my mind and burrow down, getting a foothold I would not be able to shake. He would come back around, or sometimes just flip the switch without warning and then enjoy watching me writhe and moan and cum.
I still remember very vividly an afternoon where my Master hypnotized me and transformed me, slowly… oh so slowly… into a well-behaved bitch. I could see him standing beside me, despite his body truly being a continent away, with my leash in his hand as he took me for a most humiliating and astounding walk around my apartment, crawling on my hands and knees. I remember being on all fours in the living room, still beside his hallucinatory form, as the effect of this and the sound of his voice pushed me and pulled me and worked me up and over the sexual peak and I came, whining like the bitch in heat that he’d made me at the moment. I was completely overwhelmed and rocked to my core and wanted to go again and again. And yet only a little while before that I’d rejected this idea outright. But he, as always, knew me so much better than I knew myself. He always has.
Now my trust is such that there is nothing Master could ask or suggest that I would refuse. My obedience is total and enthusiastic and I love it any time Master comes up with a new idea for play. His imagination is one of his sexiest traits. And I know there is much farther than he can take me. I just hope we never stop moving forward.
One last chunk still to come from F.D.’s collections of queries:
“And when you started in the lifestyle, did your Master start off slowly and bring you to different levels or just take total control at once?It would probably be a surprise to many of you to know that prior to meeting my Master I’d been celibate for close to 13 years. That I’d only had one sexual partner before this dry spell. That my level of kink was being happy to swallow and not appalled at the use of the word “cunt”. I had no idea that I was submissive, as most of my life I’d been a Grade A, gold-plated, bulletproof control freak.
How young were you when you knew you wanted a Master?”
My Master saw the truth in me and in my writing and he brought it out of me and showed me what I’d wanted forever and ever and never known until just then. In all honesty he let loose a caged beast that I don’t think either of us recognized, and now we work very hard to keep her leashed and in check, because she craves constant and total dominance and sway. Her cravings are so strong that its amazing to me I’d never heard her before now.
So answering his last question first and his first question last I tell you that I was the tender age of almost 40 when I discovered that I desperately wanted to be a slave; to have my Master. It sort of boggles my mind now to think of all the time I wasted NOT being this submissive slave.
I honestly had to go back and look at some of the early communications between Master and I to know the answer to FD’s first question. From the very first I felt a sexual tension between us and felt that he and I were engaged in a dance of words. I also knew early that he was confident he could have me any way he wanted me, and this confidence was completely intoxicating to me. But I do not remember how quickly he brought me to the first pivotal moment. I think it took only a week or so before he instructed me to, at my place of work no less, go to a private place and kneel. Kneel just because he told me to and I wanted to obey.
I’ve been obeying ever since.
Still, there are levels of trust and obedience and decadence and Master brought me through those levels gradually but steadily. I balked at each new thing initially, such as the fear of having my intelligence altered or of being reduced to a panting, barking animal, and whenever I pushed back my Master let me have my hesitation. He gave me time, knowing that the idea would stay in my mind and burrow down, getting a foothold I would not be able to shake. He would come back around, or sometimes just flip the switch without warning and then enjoy watching me writhe and moan and cum.
I still remember very vividly an afternoon where my Master hypnotized me and transformed me, slowly… oh so slowly… into a well-behaved bitch. I could see him standing beside me, despite his body truly being a continent away, with my leash in his hand as he took me for a most humiliating and astounding walk around my apartment, crawling on my hands and knees. I remember being on all fours in the living room, still beside his hallucinatory form, as the effect of this and the sound of his voice pushed me and pulled me and worked me up and over the sexual peak and I came, whining like the bitch in heat that he’d made me at the moment. I was completely overwhelmed and rocked to my core and wanted to go again and again. And yet only a little while before that I’d rejected this idea outright. But he, as always, knew me so much better than I knew myself. He always has.
Now my trust is such that there is nothing Master could ask or suggest that I would refuse. My obedience is total and enthusiastic and I love it any time Master comes up with a new idea for play. His imagination is one of his sexiest traits. And I know there is much farther than he can take me. I just hope we never stop moving forward.
One last chunk still to come from F.D.’s collections of queries:
Lights, Camera, Action…
Monday, 22 March 2010
The "There" Down There, and related questions...
Oh Senor Dom, so many questions!
I considered answering all of F.D.’s questions in a big pile, but there’s so much to work with here! Seems a pity to waste, so I’m breaking it into a few chunks. We’ll call the first chunk:
The “There” Down There…
Florida Dom asked these juicy little tidbits:
If the questions had come a few weeks ago I would have been able to honestly answer that I am naked every day after I get home. As you already know I purchased a pair of slut pumps. Since that post I’ve been wearing these pumps every day when I get home from work, especially as I’ve been with Master on Skype. I guess it’s fairly symbolic, but I enjoy the feeling of having a special uniform I wear for my Master to reinforce my position. After a few days of just wearing the shoes I took my own suggestion to heart and began removing all my clothing when I added the pumps. Every afternoon, for a few hours, I would sit or lie here on this couch, my ears full of Master’s voice, my body adorned by my slut pumps and nothing else.
Sadly things in this place got chilly and I got lazy. The last couple of weeks I’ve been good about the pumps (mostly) but haven’t been stripping down the way I should. But F.D.’s question has me wanting to be better and I’m going to go back to stripping to talk to him. Beyond time with Master on Skype I also sleep naked, save my beloved everyday ankle collar, every single night. It helps me for those nights/mornings when Master calls to wake me up and, if I’ve been VERY good, play with me.
There is a post coming going into much more details about my ass and the plugging of same. I will tell you now that I sleep with my ass plugged a fair number of nights. Sometimes because Master has specifically ordered me to do so, and sometimes just because I crave the feeling of improving myself for him.
Right now I have just the single piercing “down there”. I don’t know that there will be any others – this is really more of a question for my Master. (you might woo him to answer for himself if you specifically ask him for it? Hint? Hint, hint?) We have chatted a little here and there about adding nipple piercings, and I’d be lying if I said the idea of being further modified for his enjoyment didn’t excite me. However Master hasn’t had the chance to play with his first piercing as much as he’d like just yet and feels it would be “greedy” to send me for new piercings before he gets to really enjoy what I already got. Stay tuned for further adventures on this one!
And then the question about posting a photo of the piercing that I have. Oh, that question. It is one that has often been discussed. Master and I honestly did discuss his taking just such a picture when last he was here with the goal of posting it. We didn’t take the picture, and it’s not an easy one to take on your own. But here’s the thing you really want to know: Would I post a photo of my cunt here on the internet for all to see?
Yes.
And will I do that if Master approves and if he can help me to take that picture when he’s back here in June?
Yes.
My sparkly little cunt with it’s little silver ball and it’s flashy purple jewel. It’s spicy and it’s shiny and it makes me feel more sexy than anything other than Master has in months. The idea of showing it to all of you is all that times 100.
Thanks to Florida Dom for his questions – up next:
I considered answering all of F.D.’s questions in a big pile, but there’s so much to work with here! Seems a pity to waste, so I’m breaking it into a few chunks. We’ll call the first chunk:
The “There” Down There…
Florida Dom asked these juicy little tidbits:
“You tweeted that you like to clean the house in collar, slut pumps and ass
plugged and nothing else.
How often are you naked in the house? How
often do you have butt plug in your ass? Do you have just one piercing down
there and are you considering more? Will you ever consider posting photos of
your piercing?”
If the questions had come a few weeks ago I would have been able to honestly answer that I am naked every day after I get home. As you already know I purchased a pair of slut pumps. Since that post I’ve been wearing these pumps every day when I get home from work, especially as I’ve been with Master on Skype. I guess it’s fairly symbolic, but I enjoy the feeling of having a special uniform I wear for my Master to reinforce my position. After a few days of just wearing the shoes I took my own suggestion to heart and began removing all my clothing when I added the pumps. Every afternoon, for a few hours, I would sit or lie here on this couch, my ears full of Master’s voice, my body adorned by my slut pumps and nothing else.
Sadly things in this place got chilly and I got lazy. The last couple of weeks I’ve been good about the pumps (mostly) but haven’t been stripping down the way I should. But F.D.’s question has me wanting to be better and I’m going to go back to stripping to talk to him. Beyond time with Master on Skype I also sleep naked, save my beloved everyday ankle collar, every single night. It helps me for those nights/mornings when Master calls to wake me up and, if I’ve been VERY good, play with me.
There is a post coming going into much more details about my ass and the plugging of same. I will tell you now that I sleep with my ass plugged a fair number of nights. Sometimes because Master has specifically ordered me to do so, and sometimes just because I crave the feeling of improving myself for him.
Right now I have just the single piercing “down there”. I don’t know that there will be any others – this is really more of a question for my Master. (you might woo him to answer for himself if you specifically ask him for it? Hint? Hint, hint?) We have chatted a little here and there about adding nipple piercings, and I’d be lying if I said the idea of being further modified for his enjoyment didn’t excite me. However Master hasn’t had the chance to play with his first piercing as much as he’d like just yet and feels it would be “greedy” to send me for new piercings before he gets to really enjoy what I already got. Stay tuned for further adventures on this one!
And then the question about posting a photo of the piercing that I have. Oh, that question. It is one that has often been discussed. Master and I honestly did discuss his taking just such a picture when last he was here with the goal of posting it. We didn’t take the picture, and it’s not an easy one to take on your own. But here’s the thing you really want to know: Would I post a photo of my cunt here on the internet for all to see?
Yes.
And will I do that if Master approves and if he can help me to take that picture when he’s back here in June?
Yes.
My sparkly little cunt with it’s little silver ball and it’s flashy purple jewel. It’s spicy and it’s shiny and it makes me feel more sexy than anything other than Master has in months. The idea of showing it to all of you is all that times 100.
Thanks to Florida Dom for his questions – up next:
The History of my Slavery...
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Living the Experience
Jayne asked if I’m able to really “live the experience” and my short answer is no. Followed by a slightly longer answer of no, dammit. And we all know that there must also be a long answer, don’t we?
As you most likely know by now if you’re a regular reader my Master lives far, far away. We get to see each other, when things go as planned, about 3-4 times per year. The rest of the time we interact online, mostly through Skype.
Do we all have the lay of the land now? Very good.
Because of all of these obstacles we don’t live the experience 24/7. I control vast fields and valleys of my life with no reference to my Master at all. The day is too long and too complex to give him the amount of control that I would like. But it is more than that.
Though Master and I met and connected immediately through kink we’ve found a kind of vanilla life as well. We are always aware of our places in this relationship. Always. But we don’t find a need to live those places constantly, so often we have hours of interaction that would seem totally vanilla to anyone who might hear them. We chat and discuss and even debate things on and on. And then when Master gets any sense that I need to be reminded of his complete and total control over me he will toss me on my head and watch me wriggle there.
Take tonight: We sat together for over three hours with no kink to speak of. Wonderful conversations and all but no kink and not even that much sex. But then suddenly he said to me these words: “I think you should look at Skype.” I was looking at other screens and didn’t realize that he’d turned on the camera on his end, but when given the hint I rushed for the button and reveled in the view of his body; his face.
His cock.
He stripped down, getting ready to sleep, and once his shirt and belt and jeans were gone he slid his boxers down, pulled his already alert cock out and began to stroke. And stroke. And stroke. And I watched. And panted. And drooled.
He knew – he always knows – how it wrecks me to see or hear him fuck his fist. So completely in control most of the time it’s an amazing change when I hear him out of control, and I could listen to that all day long. It reduces me to a moaning, whimpering mess and that’s just what I became tonight as he stroked himself and groaned in my ears. This was his way to very clearly remind me that I am his property to play with as he wants any time he’d like. To reiterate how we, in our hearts, always live.
So you ask if I live the experience and the answer is “no”. But Master finds ways to let me live the experience as often as possible. And to remind me how lucky I am to be his.
As you most likely know by now if you’re a regular reader my Master lives far, far away. We get to see each other, when things go as planned, about 3-4 times per year. The rest of the time we interact online, mostly through Skype.
Do we all have the lay of the land now? Very good.
Because of all of these obstacles we don’t live the experience 24/7. I control vast fields and valleys of my life with no reference to my Master at all. The day is too long and too complex to give him the amount of control that I would like. But it is more than that.
Though Master and I met and connected immediately through kink we’ve found a kind of vanilla life as well. We are always aware of our places in this relationship. Always. But we don’t find a need to live those places constantly, so often we have hours of interaction that would seem totally vanilla to anyone who might hear them. We chat and discuss and even debate things on and on. And then when Master gets any sense that I need to be reminded of his complete and total control over me he will toss me on my head and watch me wriggle there.
Take tonight: We sat together for over three hours with no kink to speak of. Wonderful conversations and all but no kink and not even that much sex. But then suddenly he said to me these words: “I think you should look at Skype.” I was looking at other screens and didn’t realize that he’d turned on the camera on his end, but when given the hint I rushed for the button and reveled in the view of his body; his face.
His cock.
He stripped down, getting ready to sleep, and once his shirt and belt and jeans were gone he slid his boxers down, pulled his already alert cock out and began to stroke. And stroke. And stroke. And I watched. And panted. And drooled.
He knew – he always knows – how it wrecks me to see or hear him fuck his fist. So completely in control most of the time it’s an amazing change when I hear him out of control, and I could listen to that all day long. It reduces me to a moaning, whimpering mess and that’s just what I became tonight as he stroked himself and groaned in my ears. This was his way to very clearly remind me that I am his property to play with as he wants any time he’d like. To reiterate how we, in our hearts, always live.
So you ask if I live the experience and the answer is “no”. But Master finds ways to let me live the experience as often as possible. And to remind me how lucky I am to be his.
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
To Pierce or Not to Pierce, (that was her question…)
Many thanks to Pickypaws, the first person to reward my shameless request for attention with questioness! She asked a few questions about my piercing, and I’m sure that others have similar questions so I really do appreciate her putting it out there.
First, and most importantly: did it hurt? This was the question I asked the lady who was preparing to pierce me initially. I was lying on the table, feet tucked onto the tiny edge, trying to be brave and cool and stoic, and mostly trying to SHUT THE FUCK UP because I babble when I’m nervous. Just ask both of the people who have tattooed me. For that matter ask my Master – he’s made me nervous for verbal blathering plenty of times and I know he enjoys it when he can see how nervous he’s making me.
But I digress. (see how I do that?)
In mid-babble I asked her to be honest with me – how badly was this going to hurt? She said that she gets this question all the time, and that after years of trying every answer in the end honesty is best. She then looked me square in the eye and told me that it was going to be one of the most painful things I’d ever experience in my life!
For about a second.
But then it wouldn’t hurt at all. And that’s exactly what I found. For the second that the needle pierced the skin it was so painful I could not believe it. Much worse than stubbing your pinky toe or biting your lip or a bikini wax – yes, even the full monty wax – but for just the time it took to actually make the hole. The second she was done poking me it was done hurting. Since then the only discomfort I’ve had is the one or two times when I’ve been a wee bit too rough on that area, and I’m sure it would smart down there with or without my fancy bling.
Once the painful part was over I must admit the piercing itself was a breeze. Not too hard to take care of – the place that I got the piercing is an extremely well respected shop and they give you excellent guidance on how to care for your piercing. It normally takes a couple of weeks to get to a “healed” place but mine seemed good to go in only about 5 days. I had the bar downsized in 2 weeks and now I just get to buy new and wonderful pretty things to wear down there! Just be sure you get a barbell with the threads INTERNAL, not external. Trust me, you do NOT want to be pushing some threaded piece of metal through sensitive skin parts…
The last question that the brave and beautiful (I just have a hunch) Pickypaws asked was about whether I remove my bling when I go to the gyno. I haven’t been since I got the piercing, but I think really the question she’s asking is this: does it embarrass you when the vanilla world sees it? To that I can say NO. I haven’t shared it with any of my friends or family, but really we spend very little time chatting about my naughty bits. But I leave it there when I get waxed and when I DO go to the doctor, whether normal doctor or naughty-bits doctor, I’ll be leaving it in then too. As far as I’m concerned if they’re not embarrassed to stick their face into my areas they certainly shouldn’t be embarrassed if it twinkles back at them!
My best friend is having a pool party for her big birthday this summer, and I realized the other day that this could be a place it would be difficult to keep my bejeweled vejayjay a secret, as I’ll be changing either into or out of a bathing suit in the changing rooms there. I mentioned this to my Master and it was no surprise to me to hear him tell me he quite liked the idea of my friends seeing my fancy fuckhole. (my words, not his, but the gist is the same). We shall see how that goes once July arrives.
Pickypaws, I understand the temptation of the nipple piercing completely. That was the original suggestion that Master made only a few weeks into his having claimed me and though I originally balked at the idea I admit now I find myself thinking about it regularly. I’m more of a fan of the barbells through the nipple than of the rings (and they seem easier to hide in your vanilla life) but just the idea of being pierced in multiple places to show my ownership is an incredible rush. If you decide to do so, and if your owner gives you permission, please do write back and let me know! Maybe you can be the thing that pushes me to finally ask permission too!
If anyone else has any questions please be sure to let me know. This is kind of fun!!!
First, and most importantly: did it hurt? This was the question I asked the lady who was preparing to pierce me initially. I was lying on the table, feet tucked onto the tiny edge, trying to be brave and cool and stoic, and mostly trying to SHUT THE FUCK UP because I babble when I’m nervous. Just ask both of the people who have tattooed me. For that matter ask my Master – he’s made me nervous for verbal blathering plenty of times and I know he enjoys it when he can see how nervous he’s making me.
But I digress. (see how I do that?)
In mid-babble I asked her to be honest with me – how badly was this going to hurt? She said that she gets this question all the time, and that after years of trying every answer in the end honesty is best. She then looked me square in the eye and told me that it was going to be one of the most painful things I’d ever experience in my life!
For about a second.
But then it wouldn’t hurt at all. And that’s exactly what I found. For the second that the needle pierced the skin it was so painful I could not believe it. Much worse than stubbing your pinky toe or biting your lip or a bikini wax – yes, even the full monty wax – but for just the time it took to actually make the hole. The second she was done poking me it was done hurting. Since then the only discomfort I’ve had is the one or two times when I’ve been a wee bit too rough on that area, and I’m sure it would smart down there with or without my fancy bling.
Once the painful part was over I must admit the piercing itself was a breeze. Not too hard to take care of – the place that I got the piercing is an extremely well respected shop and they give you excellent guidance on how to care for your piercing. It normally takes a couple of weeks to get to a “healed” place but mine seemed good to go in only about 5 days. I had the bar downsized in 2 weeks and now I just get to buy new and wonderful pretty things to wear down there! Just be sure you get a barbell with the threads INTERNAL, not external. Trust me, you do NOT want to be pushing some threaded piece of metal through sensitive skin parts…
The last question that the brave and beautiful (I just have a hunch) Pickypaws asked was about whether I remove my bling when I go to the gyno. I haven’t been since I got the piercing, but I think really the question she’s asking is this: does it embarrass you when the vanilla world sees it? To that I can say NO. I haven’t shared it with any of my friends or family, but really we spend very little time chatting about my naughty bits. But I leave it there when I get waxed and when I DO go to the doctor, whether normal doctor or naughty-bits doctor, I’ll be leaving it in then too. As far as I’m concerned if they’re not embarrassed to stick their face into my areas they certainly shouldn’t be embarrassed if it twinkles back at them!
My best friend is having a pool party for her big birthday this summer, and I realized the other day that this could be a place it would be difficult to keep my bejeweled vejayjay a secret, as I’ll be changing either into or out of a bathing suit in the changing rooms there. I mentioned this to my Master and it was no surprise to me to hear him tell me he quite liked the idea of my friends seeing my fancy fuckhole. (my words, not his, but the gist is the same). We shall see how that goes once July arrives.
Pickypaws, I understand the temptation of the nipple piercing completely. That was the original suggestion that Master made only a few weeks into his having claimed me and though I originally balked at the idea I admit now I find myself thinking about it regularly. I’m more of a fan of the barbells through the nipple than of the rings (and they seem easier to hide in your vanilla life) but just the idea of being pierced in multiple places to show my ownership is an incredible rush. If you decide to do so, and if your owner gives you permission, please do write back and let me know! Maybe you can be the thing that pushes me to finally ask permission too!
If anyone else has any questions please be sure to let me know. This is kind of fun!!!
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Q&A
So did you guys know that it’s Q&A month or something? I honestly don’t know what mailing list I need to be on to find out about this stuff, because imagine my embarrassment when I don’t even know about it until half-way through the month! But I’ve got 2 weeks left, so I wanted to at least open up the floor to anybody who has a question.
The last post here was actually in response to a few questions that have been asked. But even still I find it hard to imagine that I’d have any knowledge to share, as I’m new to this lifestyle. Honestly I find myself scouring the blogs out there all the time because each time I do I learn more about myself. I’m probably the last to discover it, but there’s been a really interesting conversation happening over at an amazing blog written by Little Girl. The basic question that was raised was about why people like us like what we like, love what we love, indulge in the things in which we indulge.
What I most appreciated were how many of the people who chimed in on that conversation or were inspired (as I apparently was) to write separately shared the experience that I did: finding this life was a relief and made me feel so much BETTER about myself than I ever had. It was compounded by having met an amazing person who also boosts my ego up constantly and fabulously, but I knew as soon as I let the monster out of her cave that I’d released a lot of personal demons at the same time.
Indulging in this life with my Master has made me feel light and free. I think before this I was carrying around a lot of guilt and shame for the things that I secretly wanted. I found a person who could see this side of me and didn’t recoil, but instead wanted to set it free for me. Wanted to be able to play with me in the ways I wanted to play. At first it was a secret that I finally could share with him. Since then it’s become something I share with you guys, and even sometimes little bits are shared with my best friends. I sometimes imagine that eventually I’ll be so comfortable in my own skin, kinky warts and all, that I’ll be able to tell anybody about it.
But for now I like that I can share it with all of you. As so many others have said in their own avenues, knowing that there are so many others out there who share the strange delights that I do has meant so much to me, and has allowed me to face myself more and more openly and honestly. So if there’s anything about my kinks that you’d like to ask please do. Plus, as an added incentive, if you have a question for my MASTER he's also said he'd happily address them. This is your chance to finally hear from the horse (trainer's) mouth!
The last post here was actually in response to a few questions that have been asked. But even still I find it hard to imagine that I’d have any knowledge to share, as I’m new to this lifestyle. Honestly I find myself scouring the blogs out there all the time because each time I do I learn more about myself. I’m probably the last to discover it, but there’s been a really interesting conversation happening over at an amazing blog written by Little Girl. The basic question that was raised was about why people like us like what we like, love what we love, indulge in the things in which we indulge.
What I most appreciated were how many of the people who chimed in on that conversation or were inspired (as I apparently was) to write separately shared the experience that I did: finding this life was a relief and made me feel so much BETTER about myself than I ever had. It was compounded by having met an amazing person who also boosts my ego up constantly and fabulously, but I knew as soon as I let the monster out of her cave that I’d released a lot of personal demons at the same time.
Indulging in this life with my Master has made me feel light and free. I think before this I was carrying around a lot of guilt and shame for the things that I secretly wanted. I found a person who could see this side of me and didn’t recoil, but instead wanted to set it free for me. Wanted to be able to play with me in the ways I wanted to play. At first it was a secret that I finally could share with him. Since then it’s become something I share with you guys, and even sometimes little bits are shared with my best friends. I sometimes imagine that eventually I’ll be so comfortable in my own skin, kinky warts and all, that I’ll be able to tell anybody about it.
But for now I like that I can share it with all of you. As so many others have said in their own avenues, knowing that there are so many others out there who share the strange delights that I do has meant so much to me, and has allowed me to face myself more and more openly and honestly. So if there’s anything about my kinks that you’d like to ask please do. Plus, as an added incentive, if you have a question for my MASTER he's also said he'd happily address them. This is your chance to finally hear from the horse (trainer's) mouth!
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